First posts can feel so out of place sometimes. I suppose I should tell you about how I’m going to change your life and you can be just like me. “If I can do it, so can you”, right? But here’s my honest to goodness truth: I’m 32 years old, the mother of one fantastic little being and still married to my sweetheart of ten years. I have no idea what’s in store for me and I’m absolutely convinced that it turns out much better when I’m not in charge.
I’ve spent most of my life trying to please everyone around me while losing myself in the process. I’m still in process and still learning the balance of taking good care of myself while being their for those around me. I don’t really know more than most and, in my ripe old age, I’ve learned that I really can’t know or fully understand where anyone has been. We are the same. We are cut from the same beautiful, messy cloth and here we are.
What matters to me is loving myself, learning and doing my best to be present in each moment no matter what the circumstances. I love vision boards, I say prayers, meditate and enjoy very few things more than a cup of tea and a good book. But I struggle, I feel lonely and lost sometimes. I feel overwhelmed by my biology, lucky to be me and ashamed that I’m not doing more for others in the world. I don’t feel like parenting or wifing some days and sometimes I feel backed into a corner.
I could go into detail about where I’ve been and what I’ve done but I feel blessed to get to choose again in each moment. I’d love to cultivate lasting friendships, an unwavering sense of empathy and compassion and maybe simplify my life a bit more, but I am really just taking this life thing one day at a time.
I’m writing this blog to share myself with you. I like words like “real” and “authentic” but what I’m really hoping to embody is simply being. One of my favorite bloggers, Louise Androlia, says “It is a relief to know that every day you can just be where you are and who you are”. What if I didn’t have to prove myself, explain myself or even better myself? What if I simply want to share with you my being?
It’s like my wise, wonderful Aunt Karen always tells me, “we’re human beings, not human doings”.
So here is my blog, dear ones. My very first post where I can choose again and maybe just share myself and my being. All of it. Maybe you’ll see some of yourself in it, maybe not.
Welcome to my blog, titled my name, because I’m so many things. While it’s much more convenient for marketing purposes to throw myself into a niche, I just have too many ideas and too many nooks and crannies of this life that I’d like to explore.